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The 

Fourth of July: 

Two Speeches made by invitation at 
the Picnics of the "Usoa" Society 
of the American Colony of Berlin 

GRONAU, 1902 AND 1903 
BY 

Robert Grimshaw 




Hannover 

Printing-office of J/enecke brothers 

1903 



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To his Majesty 
WlLHELM II. 

German Emperor, King of Prussia; 

and his Excellency 

Theodore Roosevelt 

President of the United States: — 

TWO STRENUOUS AND PATRIOTIC 
RULERS. 



By tramafc* 



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Preface. 

The occasion of each of the dinner-talks 
here reproduced was a delightful Indepen- 
dence Day excursion given by the "Usoa" 
Society, composed of members of the 
American colony in Berlin. In each case 
a special steamboat took the company to 
Griinau, a charming riverside resort. An 
informal lunch in groups was followed by 
a base -ball game, sack, egg and three- 
legged races, and other competitions, an- 
nounced by a program that Barnum and 
Buffalo Bill combined could not have 
outdone. Then followed dinner in the 
grove, with speeches. On the first occasion 
then were 260feasters; on the second, 400; 
Consul General Mason presiding and Rev. 
Dr. Dickey saying grace. At the 1902 
dinner there were, besides the regular 
toasts to Kaiser, President, &c, two 



VI 

previously-prepared speeches; one on what 
America owed to Germany, the other a 
"double -header" — on Cuba, and on the 
United States. At that of 1 903 there was on the 
program but one speech — that here given. 
The remarks in 1902 are not exactly 
those which had been prepared; perhaps, 
however, nevertheless (or even because 
thereof) all the better received. The change 
was due to what seemed to many to be 
a rather too fulsome — even servile — 
laudation, on the part of the first speaker, 
of Germany's influence and help, from 1776 
up to date. There are those who do not 
think that Steuben won us our indepen- 
dence from Great Britain, that Sigel and 
German-American soldiers preserved our 
national unity or that German-American 
officers did all the work in our war with 
Spain. There are even those when recall 
that 30000 armed Hessians opposed our 
little colonial army, and who wonder how 



VII 

they got there. And there are many who 
think that in the matter of Universities and 
Colleges, High Schools and technical in- 
stitutions — to say nothing of our common- 
school system — there is something to say 
for the native element in what poor edu- 
cation we have. 

But if an educated American announces 
at a public dinner that we owe to Germany 
about all we have, how can we complain 
that the Germans, who really owe so much 
to us, believe it, and twit us about it? 

Hence the remarks in the first speech 
here printed. 

The second speech (neither is an " oration ") 
had for its object most earnestly to call 
attention to the fact that a large part of 
the undeniable bad feeling now existing 
between the two peoples — especially on 
the part of Germany, for American papers 
are much the more moderate in their tone — 
is owing to lack of better acquaintance. 



VIII 



The German Kaiser, fair-minded and far- 
seeing as he is, can do little against 
ignorance on the part of a people who 
believe that the United States contain 
20000000 Germans (our 1900 Census gives 
only 10460000 foreign-born of all kinds, 
of which 2250000 are Germans) and that 
they are the sole, or even the principal, 
source of culture in the world. 

It is, then, in the hope that the Ger- 
mans will learn to know us better before 
making invidious criticisms and comparisons, 
that this second speech is published. 

There is a text somewhere in our Good 
Book which runs "And I heard a voice from 
Macedonia, crying 'Come over and help us'." 

The voice from self-helping America cries 
out to Germany: "Come over and see us." 

Hannover, August 1903. 

Warmbiichenstr. 9. 



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1902. 
Mr. Consul General, Ladies and Gentlemen : 

In the heart of every American there are 
two tender places: for our good old mother 
England and for our adopted daughter 
Cuba. 

In the first case we have long ago 
forgotten that in a moment of temporary 
insanity she compelled us to set up 
housekeeping for ourselves — since which 
time we have done pretty well, thank you, 
and added several new rooms to our 
cottage. In the second we see a neighbor, 
cruelly abused by a stepmother who took 
her earnings and deprived her of liberty 
and education — the two blessings which 
we most prize. 

For thirteen years there was in Cuba a 
hell in paradise. Between the two contending 



parties it was for the foreigners, in particular, 
who tried to work their sugar plantations 
and gas works and all the rest of their 
industries, somewhat as pictured by the 
darkey preacher, who said, "Dere am two 
roads, breddren. One am a broad an* narrer 
road what lead to destruction, de odder a 
narrer an* broad road what lead to perdition." 
The foreigners — mostly Americans — 
were "between the devil and the deep sea". 

Here were no rich gold and 'diamond 
mines, developed by foreign capital, enter- 
prise, and intelligence. Here clamored no 
foreign influence for free schools and 
compulsory education. Foreign masters 
milked the country dry. Here were no 
long years of stealthy preparation for war. 

For thirteen years the land was ravaged 
by fire and sword. Ragged and hungry 
foot-soldiers, racked with fever, and with 
imperfect arms, gave their lives from boy- 
hood to manhood — if they reached it — 



for their dear island, for centuries plundered 
by office-holders and taxed to the last 
extremity. There was no incentive to 
labor; its product would only be wrung 
from them. Wealth was a danger. 

To us, this state was from the humane 
point of view, nauseous; from the com- 
mercial, expensive, and even dangerous. 
So when the "Maine" incident made war 
inevitable we embraced the opportunity to 
philanthropically free Cuba from her yoke, 
as we had loyally protected her owner 
from French, British, and other aggression. 

We have cruelly disappointed those who 
asserted (without knowledge of the fact 
that we had repeatedly refused to consider 
the purchase of the island) that our object 
was self aggrandizement. We have watered 
her fertile soil with our best blood. We 
have done better yet — we have during our 
occupancy reduced the running expenses 
to one fourth, freed her capital from yellow 



Al 



fever, and planted there our free school 
system. And now Cuba Libre, under a 
President of her own choosing, stands 
alone. Her steps may be still uncertain, 
but she may take them in the direction 
which pleases her, so long as they are in 
the paths of virtue and work. Her only 
danger is from within; and we stand as 
ready to defend our step - daughter from 
disorder in her own household as to guard 
her from foreign attack. 

And now for "God's Country": — 
In the Good Book we read, "Let another 
praise thee, and not thine own lips; a 
stranger, and not thine own mouth". So 
in responding to the toast to the great- 
ness of the American Republic, I must 
approach the subject in thankfulness rather 
than boasting, and only call your attention 
to that for which on this, our national 
birthday, we have just cause to be 
grateful. 



Materially we have prospered. In one 
generation we have increased in population 
98 per cent.; in public-school pupils 240; 
in railways 261 ; in telegraph lines 770; 
in freight carried, 223 (but the rates are 
62 per cent, lower); in exports 1008. We 
have 52 per cent, of the world's railways; 
enough to reach the moon. We have 
40 per cent, of the earth's coal lands. Our 
petroleum lights the world, our wheat feeds 
it. We produce one ninth of the world's 
wool, and five sixths of her cotton. 

It is held up as a reproach here that 
we have no Universities and Colleges. (It 
is with equal justice here asserted that we 
have no variety of food.) We have more 
such institutions, instructors, and pupils than 
all Europe put together. 

The German Kaiser (a "Prachtkerl" he!) 
recently remarked at Aachen that Germany 
was the source of culture, and that all 
other nations only copied after her. Well, 



I have heard of an Edison, a Westinghouse, 
a Morse; a Whitney, a Holly, and a Thom- 
son; an Oliver Evans, a Franklin, a Howe; 
a McCormick, a Henry, a Corliss; a Hoe, 
a Draper, a Bell, and a Grey; and hundreds 
of others whose names, while not on the 
Eiffel tower, are in every schoolboy's mouth, 
and whose works pervade and beautify and 
better the earth. And not alone in invention 
— and Germany should remember that to 
British looms and American machine-tools 
she owes her proud position of to-day — 
I come to Berlin to visit one of her prin- 
cipal electrical institutions and find as the 
leading spirit no blond-haired Teuton, but 
a black -bearded Yankee named Magee! 
I go to Leipzig and inquire "who is the 
successor of the great Tischendorff, the 
world's authority on Greek and Scriptural 
interpretation?" and find the Princetonian 
Gregory! I plow the Persian deserts and 
rummage among Assyrian ruins, and find 



Americans doing three fourths of the 
archaeological exploration. And I can go 
through no street of any German city 
without having my heart-beats quickened 
by that weird rag -time music, brought 
here by Sousa! 

To quote from the Biglow Papers: 

"But John P. 

Robinson he 

Says they don't know everything down 
in Judee!" 

One story — perhaps not new, still 
good. An American in Paris, a hard 
drinker, was warned that his habit would 
be his death. He heeded not. One day, 
drunk to insensibility, he was carried into 
the Catacombs, placed in a coffin, and left 
to awaken in the light of one dim candle. 
When he came to himself, he sat up, 
looked to right and left, surveyed the 
hideous osseous remains about him with a 
chuckle, and gave utterance to this remark: 



"Hurrah for the United States! First 
man up!" 

The Monroe doctrine — so much assailed 
by those who do not know what it is — 
simply means that we propose to protect 
our friendly neighbors from attack. We 
have already done this effectively by quiet 
diplomatic representation that such acts 
would be regarded by us as unfriendly; 
we are prepared to do it by ruder means 
should it become necessary. The Monroe 
doctrine means that America wants no new 
neighbors, and will have peace on her side 
of the water even if she has to fight for it. 

The Germans have a good motto: "We 
fear God; nothing else in the world." We 
Americans are free from all fear. Upon 
our coins is stamped "In God we trust." 
Ours is a land of well-placed confidence. 
We trust our neighbors; we trust our 
future ; above all we trust our girls. We 
send them alone four thousand to seven 



thousand miles to learn how to paint purple 
trees and long-necked green-skinned 
nymphs, and to struggle with the mysteries 
of the inseparable verbs; and except some 
very few who marry and remain to improve 
the old stock, they return with head erect, 
fearless and proud as they left us. 

We are justly proud of our high standard 
of womanhood. That is the reason for, and 
again the result of, our great respect for the 
sex which bears, and rears, and comforts us. 

Ours is the land of liberty in the highest 
sense — freedom to secure our own weal 
according to our own will, so long as we 
infringe the rights of no one else. 

What we have been is nothing to what 
we are; what we are is still less, com- 
pared to what we can be, if we do not 
betray the sacred principles of justice and 
fair play bequeathed to us. 

Let us remain true to this legacy. Let 
us ever be more thankful than proud, and 



10 



remember that our precious and inalienable 
privileges entail upon us solemn duties to 
those of our fellow men whom the accident 
of birth-place has rendered less fortunate 
than ourselves. 

If ever I forget thee, my country, "may 
my right hand forget its cunning, and my 
tongue refuse its bidding." 



C^C^C^C^C^C^lS3lS3cS3cS3 



(^C^C^C^C^&lcS3cS3C§3cS3 



1903. 
Mr. Consul General, Ladies and Gentlemen! 

You will pardon, as introduction, a few 
words of carping criticism. Mr. Consul 
General, in your interesting account of the 
festivities at Kiel, you remarked that during 
the entire affair "the American flag was never 
out of sight." I beg to correct: Our beautiful 
flag, God bless it, is always (if you will 
excuse the slang expression) "out o' sight!" 

History repeats itself. But it also con- 
tradicts itself. Fifty years ago, before a 
great civil war plunged thousands of homes 
in mourning, in every Fourth-of-July speech 
the British lion's tail was twisted, and the 
American eagle was made to scream and 
to spread his wings "from the North pole 
to the South pole, and from the East pole 
to the West pole." All that North and 

U of C 



12 



South had in common was the tail of the 
British lion; and that, only once a year. 
Now, it is different. North and South have 
learned to know each other; both have 
learned to know and like the British lion. 

Because a German king upon a British 
throne did not understand our forefathers, 
we are today free, independent, progressive 
— in a word, American. 

Recently, Germany and America have 
been using the Atlantic as a back fence 
across which to reach left-handed compli- 
ments — on yellow paper. 

We have laughed at the Germans: they 
have retaliated with abuse. 

Perhaps one reason of our ill-feeling is 
that we are more easily offended by 
flattery than by abuse; and that confound 
it! we won't stand being patronized, by 
even the highest! 

We must, however, refuse to accept 
criticism as to facts, still less as to motives, 



13 

from people many of whom do not 
know whether Arizona is the capital of 
Topeka or a brand of mineral water. 

We must decline to be considered only 
as a dollar-loving cultureless people — we 
who have 170 colleges (three of which 
with over 10 000 000 dollars endowment), 
and 1 7 000 professors and instructors. We 
study in Europe, not because education is 
better here, but because we, more than 
others, recognize that no one university 
can teach all; and we recommend Europeans 
to take post-graduate courses with us, if 
only for the purpose of learning to know 
us better. 

But while the German people as a 
whole, and the German press nearly as a 
whole, viewing all Americans as re- 
presented by about two newspapers — the 
only ones which they see — are inimical 
to us and show their enmity, we must 
recognize that their leader has fairer and 



14 



broader views; and we thank him for 
their expression in the face of popular 
opposition thereto. 

While we refuse to consider William II 
as a combination of Charlemagne, Hannibal 
and Michelangelo, with a dash of Richard 
Wagner, we do see in him the most 
strenuous and patriotic monarch that ever 
sat on a German — perhaps on any — 
throne; a man of clean and loveable 
personal character. We admire him because 
he is a thoroughbred, and in many things 
so much like our own Theodore! We see 
that he improves with age; also that he 
knows a good thing when he sees it — 
and that we are "It"\ He is successfully 
performing the difficult — almost impossible 
— task of driving a State chariot to which 
are hitched over a score of horses, of all 
sizes, once attached to as many vehicles, 
and colliding on the road; and which, if not 
now kept at his pace, would probably spend 



15 



a large portion of the time kicking and 
biting each other, and would dash the 
national car to pieces. He recognizes that 
he must drive fast and straight to keep 
up with the procession led by Great Britain 
and America. 

He sees that his country must be brought 
into line, and kept in line, as one of the 
three really great powers — America, Great 
Britain and Germany. These three must 
dominate the commerce and culture, and 
decide the geography, of the world. 

We Americans see no reason for either 
a Zweibund or a Dreibund. We believe 
in an Omni-bund ; a brotherhood of all 
nations, in which each minds his own 
business and the strong protect — not 
oppress — the weak. 

The proverbial Kilkenny cats were said 
to have fought so furiously that nothing 
was left of them both but their tails. We 
wish no Kilkenny quarrels, tariff or other- 



16 

wise, with other nations; but beg to call 
attention to the fact that should trouble 
arise, our cat has the longest tail! 

In our land the migration books are kept 
by single entry. Few people, travelling to 
America, buy return tickets. 

It is the most nearly self-contained land 
on the globe. Let us be thankful for it 
and for the blessings which residence 
therein and citizenship thereof bring. But 
let us remember that the prosperity of all 
other peoples should gladden our hearts 
and will fill our coffers; and that our duty 
is to examine and better ourselves, and 
learn to know and understand our neighbors. 

Let Uncle Sam be the good uncle, on 
good terms with himself and all others of 
the human family, and whom all others can 
love, while holding him in wholesome, 
well-deserved respect. 




011 801 645 2 



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